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If you Need a Laugh

From SNL - Laser Cats 3 (in 3D!!!!!!) Senator Dodd, laser cats, and a pug - what's not to love? This is what happens when you are on YouTube instead of Turbo Tax. Click here

Name that Tune/Voice over

DH and I often play a game when we are watching TV that we have titled "name that celebrity voice over." You would think they don't pay Keiffer Sutherland much for "24" for all the commercial voice work he does, and of course his dad does the Volvo commercials. DH is much better at this than I am, which is surprising, given my knowledge of pop culture and gifted ear. He won a bet with me because he picked out Julia Roberts on the AOL commercial when I had said no way would she do that. Guess she read her Broadway reviews....

What I am better at is the "name that tune" version of the same contest. However, sometimes they are really obscure and I need help. Thankfully,  there is of course a website devoted to this cause at www.adtunes.com.  So, if you want to know that cool tune from the Target commercial (it's the Concretes) or if you are moved to tears by the song from a financial planning company (100 Years by Five for Fighting) this site is for you. Search the archives, and you will see that pretty much any commercial you have ever heard is documented here. There is even a subsection on celebrity voices and cool television music and fun bumpers, like from the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.

The biggest questions is of course, what did we all do to waste time at work before we had the Internet?

AI Finale

Late post today - I have been in DC at a meeting all day. So I wanted to review this one last time before I am influenced by what anyone else says. Here are my stream of consciousness impressions...

This thing is too long. I know they are trying to milk the ratings but they are in danger of milking it to its death. Carrie Underwood can sing. I am not a big country fan, but the girl can sing. There were at least five contestants there last night that are better than the two that won, but will they go on to have careers? I say yes for Chris and Elliott, and mayber for Mandisa!, Paris, and Pickler. Pickler is funny. Puck was weirdly tan when they showed him in the audience. She sounded good the only time we really heard her sing in the Bachrach number so she could go country. She may go the dumb blond Jessica Simpson route which would be a shame.

I am glad Al Jarreau is still alive. McMeatloaf has ruined any pleasant musical memories I have of him, mostly blaring out at frat parties while I was in college. The duet he did with Kat was painful. Chicken Little, Lisa Tucker, Ace, and girl who's name I can't remember who was voted off first still suck. Bucky was better than I remember, and who knows, could go country.

The Brokeback Cowboys - so sad. I fear the bad audition people have no idea they are being made fun of - espcially the Clay Aiken wannabe. I knew that was supposed to be Clay Aiken behind the curtain because I remembered the spazz from the auditions. But I didn't recognize  Clay - I kept thinking, why do they have George Michael on here? That hair - was he serious? He gave Kathy Grififn a year's worth of material but he made fans like my mom happy. Loved Elliott's duet with Ms. Blige. Hope he hooks up with a good producer - he can make it. I also liked the Burt Bachrach/Dionne Warwick number, though I know many viewers only know them from the Mike Meyer's movies and Psychic Friends network.

Therein lies the problem. AI started as "Pop Idol" in the UK and was originally a pop singing contest. That was ok with me. I may like pop (some of it) better than anyone who reads this list because I like vocalists. I have Mandy Patinkin CD's. Frank.Steve and Edie. I like the crooners. AI has tried in the last two seasons to branch out of the pop genre, and it may be spreading itself a bit thinly. It made for some incongrous moments last night.

McBoobs sounded better than she ever did before on the show - I believe her nerves get to her - and she is the more polioshed singer. She probably would have won if she had not been such a pain in the McButt. Taylor will take over the Michael Bolton ez listenting crowd, and while I did enjoy his and Kat's reprisal of the Jennifer Warnes/Joe Cocker "Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong" I will not be buying any cd's.

Prince at the end was quite a treat. It was worth sitting there for two hours drinking wine and alternatly cringing and enjoying the music for a chance to see him perform live. I loved it! OK, kids, that's it till next season, unless I hear about anything the contestants are doing that is interesting. Oh, and DH still loves Kellie, even with the haircut.

AI Recap The Finals

OK, I want to quick post my recap before I read anyone else's and am unduly influenced. Check back later if you are looking for the watercooler.

I have to agree with Simon. He gave an interview after the show where he said it was a bit anti-climatic. At this point, with the final two, you would expect to get chills every time one of them sang. That did not happen with the possible exception of Taylor's first number and McBoob's Over the Rainbow. DH said the sound was bad in the Kodak. Since he knows about stuff like that and has a better ear than I do, I'll take his word for it. The place is cavernous. So, we did not get a Kelly Clarkson moment, or even a Carrie Underwood moment, last night.

The internet rumour that Kat and Taylor both resisted the Nick Lachey song must have been true because for the first time in AI history, the finalist got to sing separate songs. And they were awful! If that was a strike for artistic integrity the song they rejected must have profoundly sucked. Since the final three record the cd, and they release the one of the winner, that means Elliott recorded it and explains why he had tears of joy when he was eliminated. Seriously , do you think Chris and Elliott were high fiving it in the men's room after they heard that crap? Can you imagine either of them singing either song?

I'll say Taylor gets it, and I will tune in tonight to see my guilty pleasure through to the end. I am looking forward to the performances, especially Elliott with Mary J Blige. Since he is such a Donny Hathaway fan, I am hoping they will sing something from the duet album he released with Roberta Flack. Where is the Love is a big favorite of mine. Also, Kat is singing with Meatloaf if internet reports are true. That should be a train wreck worth watching!

Elliott Yamin Day

My sister in law just returned from Kanawah and the crowd estimate is there were 4,000 plus folks there in support of Elliott. She reports that Mayor/Governonr L. Douglas Wilder put a political spin on his speech to say this is like election year....everyone needs to go out and vote and that he did a nice job with his presentation. Very simple. Elliott sang Michael Buble's Home. It sounded great. As Paula would say, it was his best yet. Really! L. Douglas read a fax from Paula to say she was the judge chosen to pick the song for him for Tuesday. Could be scary. She can't remember the name of the song not sure she recognized it.

Next stop is down the Boulevard past the adult sex shop and to the Diamond for a sold out game between the Braves and the Toledo Mudhens. You can click on the picture to make it bigger.

AI the Final Four

And then there were four...bye bye Paris...sorry to see your Billie Holiday voice go but the girl just never found a consistent connection the the audience. She was not helped by the theme choices since they limited her selections of songs that would have shown off her vocal stylings in a better way than singing Prince.

Did anyone think it was funny that after the wardrobe malfunction last week Ms. McPhee sang a song while on her knees so as not to risk accidentally showing off her McCooter? And not to mention those McBoobs. Although she butchered her first song, the one on her knees kinda grew on me - by a new Scottish artist called KT Tunstall the song is called Black Horse in the Cherry Tree.

Richmond dude IMHO better than the Silver Fox with Play that Funky Music irony, and the self styled rocker's screechy last pick. Props for Renegade, but I am now interested in how they plan to pull off next week's theme.

It's a road trip to Graceland, where they will meet Tommy Mottola, famous for being formerly married to the I will hit my mute button Mariah Carey, and the once beautiful now duck butt faced too much botox Priscilla Presley. I was worried that if they  have to choose an Elvis song they will have a limited selection but I googled it, and Elvis recorded 699 songs! Think about it - gospel, all those movies, and he wrote very little of the material himself. Lots of Leiber and Stoller, which is good stuff, and we can only hope someone picks - Clambake! Mama's little baby loves clambake, clambake..

BTW, on the list of the 50 Most Awesomely Dead Rock Starts, the King comes in at Number 3, well above our previously dead star theme week, Freddie Mercury at number 17. Graceland draws 600,000 pilgrims a year; there are 500 active fan clubs and 35,000 professional impersonators; and several organized religions have formed around Elvis, including the First Presleyterian Church of Elvis the Divine.

Lots of meetings this week. i promise a better recap next week!

And Then There Were Six AI

(If you are looking for the Watercooler check back in a few minutes)

Hmmm, I was not too thrilled when I heard it was Andrea Bocelli night - not that I don't think he is fantastic but I was not in the mood to hear cringeworthy opera. Thankfully, the theme is "classic" love songs, whatever that means, and they have brought in David Foster, a songwriter/producer who has won 14 Grammies. Alrighty, then.

Seacrest is up and I am looking for the signs of the feud with Paula but it looks like his mike is working tonight when he introduces her. Clips, clips, clips, and yikes, there is Celine Dion so I mute until she is off the screen.

First up is Katharine Zeta McPhee, and Opera Dude and 14 Grammys really seem to like her. She doesn't sound half bad as she "spontaneously" breaks into opera with Andrea. Her choice was written by David Foster himself, shameless suck up, and sung by Whitney Houston, I Have Nothing, which has been sung every season of AI so far - you would think they would learn. Even at her coke ho worst she can out sing pretty much the planet. Kat sounds raspy to me and she is screeching this song. Yikes, did she get a boob job over the last week? Oh look, there's Sasha Cohen.  Wow, her dress is slit to there, and the song is done. Randy agrees with me - the song is too big for her. Paula is not thrilled either, and Simon tells her it was a bad song choice. It is my imagination or do I detect some arrogance in Miss McPheever?

Elliott is up next and is talking about Donny Hathaway whose daugther just happens to sing backup on AI. 14 Grammy dude does not want Elliott to Elliott up the song and there seems to be some tension as they wish him well. I am not familiar with this song but I can hear how hard it is. The audience is reacting well and it sounds like a great finish to me - look, there's Kevin Nealon..Aha, Randy says the arrangement was bad but the vocals fab, and Paula is...crying? She says she was moved to tears by Elliott's performance ...they cut to Simon and he is LAUGHING, at Paula and says that Elliott has just given us a "vocal master class." Wow, nice job Richmond dude!

DH's fave is up next, Miss Kellie Pickler singing, oh no, Unchained Melody. Couldn't she have picked a country love song? She is in trouble if she butchers two songs in a row. Don't like the Denise Richards hairdo either. Yikes, she is all over the place trying to find those notes. Maybe she just wants off the show so she can go and cut her country album. This is bad - she has no lower register. OK, she did hit the high parts for a decent finish. Randy didn't like it, Paula says she is not raising the bar, and Simon says that hers is the performance to cry over. Have to agree - she may have earned her first trip to the bottom three.

Look there's Sela Ward. OK, Paris is up next and she has chosen a Barbra Streisand song which is gutsy, but she can probably pull it off with her ranges. Yes, it's kind of a bluesy take on Memories and I rather like it - she sounds a bit like Dionne Warwick. Look, there's Joely Fisher. Randy says it is just OK, Paula says she oversang it, and Simon says it was too old (again) but she is definitely the best of the females tonight, IMHO.

Next up is the Silver Fox. Opera dude and Grammy man say his voice is "interesting." Yikes, we know "Paula speak" when we hear it. He picks Just Once, and I am not feeling it. Vocals sound shakey to me. Nice ending, and DH likes it much better than I do. The judges are underwhelmed. Look, there's Tori Spelling. Fox must really be handing out the VIP passes tonight!

Last we have Chris, and Andrea and the grammy dude give him an exercise to sing on his back while on the floor so he is not just singing from the neck up. He sounds good like that. Again, though, I have to question his taste in music because he picks the cheese laden Bryan Adams song Have you Really Ever Loved a Woman. Is he singing from the neck up? I don't know, but he looks good from the neck up. Good choice to have the guitars and avoiding the horrendous arrangements that everyone else has had to endure from the backup band this evening. They could use a dose of Geritol. Actually, this sounds really good and I like his voice with the guitars. Randy and Paula both loved it, and Simon said it was sexy, but refrained from calling Chris a sexy minx.

OK. EZ call on top two being Chris and Elliott. Bottom is harder - Kellie should be there and should really go home, based on two poor performances in a row, but her fans love her and votefortheworst.com has been pushing her and they may have some pull. I also think that Taylor is vulnerable but he has yet to make an appearance in the bottom three. Kat belongs there too based on performance and that puts Paris up there with Chris and Elliott. Vocally, that is probably true, but fans are fickle with the seventeen year old songstress with the "old soul." Seacrest, out!

AI Recap 4.18

(You can skip to Watercooler below)

So it's Rod Stewart night but the contestants don't get to sing any Rod. Instead, the songs have to be from his four volume cd selections of American standards. OK, that's not so bad. Up first is Chris, who Rod identifies with as a fellow rocker (stretch) and prepares us for the fact that he is "going out of his comfort zone." Finally! And finally he shows some decent taste in music with his choice of "A Wonderful World" yikes I think I hear some flat notes but Paual is swaying, and omigosh, I think Simon is smiling. No matter what he does, IMHO, his fate in the final two is sealed.

Paris is up next and I swear she is channeling Billie Holiday. She sounds pitch perfect and if I close my eyes, forget she is seventeen and her horrendous speaking voice, I'd say that I would buy a cd of her singing jazz standards. Yikes, Paula agrees with me and Simon nails it by comparing her speaking voice to Minnie Mouse. So far, so good.

Elliot is up and I am thinking Frodor alert. Man, what a beautiful voice, and great song choice with "It had to be You, " and for once, he is showing some animation in his performance. Randy agrees, and Paula loved it. Miss Girl has her extensions in tonight and they seem to be making her a bit more coherent. Simon says not enough personality for him and I am afraid I have to agree. He does not have the look to go with the voice, and we will see if performance alone is enough to keep this Richmonder from going home prematurely.

Up next is Kellie who admits she butchered Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered. The band gets ahead of her, and she has a tough time pulling it out. The judges are kinder than they would have been to anyone else, and performance wise, she deserves a trip to the bottom three. But her fans lover her, so we'll see.

The Silver Fox comes on and it's good to see that he can make fun of himself when Seacrest asks about the parody skit on SNL. I'm psyched he is singing Sam Cooke, but let down by the boring rendition. He livens it up at the end, but too little too late for me.

Ace, the boy band craze is over, and so are the eighties. While one of your better performances, it is time for you to go, based on that greasy pony tail alone. I've already forgotten what you sang and you are not even done yet.  And last, we have, Catherine. Ever since someone told me she looks like Catherine Zeta Jones, I can't get it out of my head and I am no fan of CZJ. What is she wearing? I had band uniforms in high school with more style. But she does a good job with Someone to Watch Over Me and the judges LOVE her. Do the voters?

My top three  in terms of performance, are Paris, Elliot, and grudgingly, Catherine Zeta McPhee.  Bottom three are Ace, Kellie, and Taylor. It's time for Ace to go. Props to Rod, best show of the season so far with the quality of the singing and he's an entertaining bloke. But next time, I want some Maggie May and Do Ya Think I'm Sexy!

AI Recap

Note: if you are looking for the Watercooler, scroll down to the next post.

OK, for those of you AI fans out there that have asked for a more detailed recap, here goes! The top 8 are live this week, and Seacrest says they will be pushed. Yikes, what is Seacrest wearing? A suit with a sweater vest? Looks like he made it himself with a pair of scissors. Flashback, it's Queen in the 70's, and I am back to thinking the producers are crazy. Let's have a talent show where we ask the kids to sing songs from a band that had one of the most stylized vocal performers in history, Freddie Mercury! And to top it off, he is dead. Died in 1991. Listed as the 17th most popular dead rock star of all time. Recipe for disaster?

Ah, the AI director directed the video for Bo Rap. How synergistic. More Freddie Mercury stadium rock flash backs, and then, it's Bucky! And yes, he is singing 1978's Fat Bottom Girls! In prime time, during the "family hour." Love it. The Queen guys say he has a good attitude, Paula speak for his singing ain't so hot. Well, he's trying but the vocals are flat. Randy gives him props for trying, Paula loved it, and Simon says it was mediocre, though a good song choice. I predict bottom three for Bucky again. Wow, Seacrest is really short.

Next up is Ace, in leather pants! He is going out of his "comfort zone" with 1977's We Will Rock You, and the best thing the Queen guys can come up with is it's "interactive." Yikes. He's singing...he has his arms out....it's in a strange key...wow, I hate the arrangement. Look, there's Mickey Dolenz! OK, it's over. Randy thought it sounded like bad karaoke, Paula loved it, and Simon agrees with me - an utter mess! I predict it's back to the bottom three for Ace. Maybe buh-bye!

Pickles is next. DH thinks she is so cute. and, yes, the rumours from the "Vote for the Worst" website are true - she is singing Bohemian Rhapsody! The Queen guys call it a brave choice. This 1975 anthem gained new popularity when Constantine Marulous did not massacre it last year. Pickles says it is one of her daddy's favorite Queen tunes. Did she mention Daddy is in the hoosegow? OK. a shaky start but I forget the first slow part of the song is not as challenging. OK. Not bad. I give her a for effort. Randy agrees with me, saying she looks fly and she worked it out. Paula mentions it is a brave choice. Isn't Kellie dating Constantine? Maybe some private coaching. Simon says she is dressed right out of the night of the living dead, and he and Kelli have some Henry Higgins/Eliza Doolittle moment about accents. She's safe for the time being, I predict.

Next up is Chris. He has picked an obscure Queen song from 1991 that they have never performed live. Ah, now curly haired Queen guy says his daughter likes Chris and now we know what they are doing on this show. Yikes, I think there may be a reason they never sang this song live. It sucks. Weird vibrato. Cheesy production values. Look, there's Camryn Manheim! Randy loves Chris and thinks he delivered. Paula loved it. Simon agrees with me. Hated the song, and with so much material, he could have really had a "moment" tonight. Instead, it was too indulgent. Chris probably safe, due to fan base.

Next up is Catherine, who isn't comfortable rocking out, and switches her song choice to Who wants to Live Forever, from the soundtrack of the Highlander movie. There is an oxymoron in that somewhere. Wow, the fog machine is in overdrive and she is screaming the song at me. She's pretty with a nice voice but this is a bit "vanilla" for me. Randy likes the song choice but says it was just OK. Paula loved it. Look, there's Fantasia! Simon says it was one of the strongest performances of the evening and she was close to having a moment. I say she is close to being in the bottom three again.

Richmond's sown Elliott Yamin is up. He is a "singer's singer" with so much technical talent that it can not be appreciated by someone like me. I can tell flat from sharp, and can hear that his rendition of Somebody in Love is superior to the others, but I have a hard time watching him perform without thinking of the Lord of the Rings movies. Randy says it is the hardest song of the night and he loves it. Paula loves it. Simon agrees. Shocker! But will his fan base deliver the votes to pull him through? He's vulnerable, IMHO.

Next up is Taylor, who practices We are the Champions with the Queen guys but pulls a last minute swap for Crazy Little Thing Called Love, which after 900 performances should surely be retired from the AI song book. The silver fox is trying to rock but look! He tried to kick over the mike stand and missed! Randy is amused and thinks it was hot. Paula loved it. Simon asks him if he is drunk and says it is ridiculous!

Trailer for a new movie called Stick It, about a girl's gymnastic teams has some good lines: She says to the guy call me, he responds, stalk me! Looking at the cheerleaders and asking, what do they have that we don't? Says one gymnastic team member, boobs! OK Paris will close the show.

Every time I see Paris I think she should be playing the lead in High School Musical or have a show on the Disney channel. It's a shame that her 17 years works against her, because she can belt out Billie Holiday with the best of them. But how big of an audience is there for a 17 year old recording artist? The Queen guys give her the highest props of the night "damn good singer" and she comes out looking like Goth High School. The girl can dance, and is doing a good job on The Show Must Go On. Grandma with the Grammy did not pick this one! Wow - Randy says she worked it out. Paula loved it. Simon says, it was well, weird. Will it keep her out of the bottom three? It should, but we will see if her fan base turns out for her. Seacrest out!

Extreme Makeover in VA!

Back in  early December, I was traveling through SW VA on business when I heard a radio show live remote broadcasting from a  house in Blacksburg that was getting an "extreme makeover." Only thirty miles away, I immediately headed off the interstate in that direction hoping to get a glimpse of Ty Pennington. Even my husband admits he sees why women think this guy is hot.

Big question: would he be shirtless on an icey December morning? I'll have the chance to find out when the episode airs this Sunday at 7pm on ABC.

Turns out, I would have been more than welcome to the site as a spectator or volunteer. However, you had to drive to a central parking area and be bused over to the site, for crowd control. I just didn't have that kind of time in my schedule, and boy, was it cold! They were half way through the makeover, and the weather was indeed creating havoc with their work schedule.

I stopeed at a local coffee shop, and got some details on the story. It's  compelling: a formerly reknowned soloist with the Dance Theater of Harlem, now  a siongle mother teaching dance in  Blacksburg . Diagnosed with MS five years ago, she can no longer demonstrate the moves herself and has trouble negotiating the steps in her downtown dance studio and taking care of two active boys in her split level home.  As her health continues to decline she is obviously worried about the future.

This emmy winning series has a high melodrama factor and is hard to watch without a kleenex. It will be fun to tune in and see how they depict VIrignia, and Blacksburg , and the solutions they come up with to help this family.